PRACTICE: Recall a time when you were overcome by anger. What did you do?
I am an even-tempered person. I don’t like being angry – more accurately, I hate it. Anger, like crying, which is often a byproduct of my anger, leaves me physically and mentally exhausted…particularly when I can’t react as I would desire to the object of my anger.
I read something recently that has me pondering my disdain for anger. “Anger is most useful as a diagnostic tool. When anger erupts in us, it is a signal that something is wrong. Something isn’t working right.” My interest was piqued - anger as a diagnostic tool? I decide to examine my method of anger management.
It was hard for me to remember when I had last felt real gut -wrenching anger. After some soul searching, here is what I came away with… anger was always around something that really mattered…I, someone or something that was very important to me had been hurt by something that someone said or did OR didn’t say or do. Anger was an appropriate response to the situation. My feelings of anger can be trusted. Additionally, I was able to understand that my anger is not likely to be an eruption. It is more likely to start as a slow burn in my head and progress to a heartfelt emotion. Said another way, “The longer I thought about it, the madder I got.” The review of my anger events helped me to realize that my anger toward another usually traced back to an insecurity in me.
The offenders were being authentically who they are, but I was not mature enough to handle their authenticity. Because anger is an indicator that something is wrong, in most case it pushed me to a place of personal growth. “Why did that anger me so much”- building my level of self- awareness.
If “anger is a most useful as a diagnostic tool…signaling something is wrong…that something is not working right” as an individual, then I believe it can do likewise for us collectively. Anger has its rightful place in society. The question for all of us: how do we express it appropriately and how do we address anger appropriately when we are on the receiving end? I don’t have the answer. What I do know - Anger left bottled up and capped closed, ferments. Eventually the gas produced from the fermenting anger will push the top off and things erupt. It seems to me the best course of action is to deal with it so that I (we) can move on to the bigger and better things of life.
26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
PONDER THIS THOUGHT – Anger is good. Anger can motivate. Anger requires management.
Comments