GIFT GIVING
My birthday is about a month before Christmas so I don’t get caught in the trap of one gift for both, not that it would matter. My trap is this. I want to give gifts that are functional and something that is appreciated and of use. Finding the perfect gift for others is a stressor of sorts during this season. I had a seminal thought while pondering what to give folks this year. I immediately wanted to plant the seed in those closest to me in hopes that it would germinate.
Here’s what I texted, “I had a breakthrough this morning. Every year, I struggle with what to give as gifts. I want to give something that is wanted or needed by the recipient. Today I thought, a gift is primarily something that I give to another because I want them to have it not because they necessarily need it or want it. Giving another something that they need is charity … something given to relieve suffering. I realized that the needs of the people in this village are met as they arrive daily. We don’t wait for a holiday to meet each other’s needs. Therefore, I can give you what I want you to have. Because I am in a relationship with you, my gift may be specific because I want for you what you want for yourself or maybe not.”
I found this revelation strangely liberating and stress relieving.
A gift is defined as something voluntarily transferred from one person to another without compensation. (Think of the Three Wise Men’s gift). The compensation of my former thinking was – fulfillment of a need of the recipient.
I sat the next morning and reflected on the validity of that thought.
An affirmation is spoken most days in my home that includes these words. “We are generous with each other and others. We encourage each other and encourage others. We are supportive of each other and others.” We practice charity every day when we give of our time or money, pick up and drop off, or provide an impromptu meal. Out of these same affirmations, I can give a gift without feeling that it should fulfill a need.
My gift giving will look a bit different this year. Some may receive a pair of socks not because of a need but because I think their feet will look cute in the sock pattern. Others might get a single spoon that I purchased on vacation because the spoon sitting in a sugar bowl reminded me of the sweetness that they bring to my life not because they want or need a single spoon.
A close friend gifted me a figurine of a full-figured woman in a yoga pose for my birthday. The gift has no functional value. Because my friend knows my love of yoga, she wanted me to have something that says she sees me. I have since sketched five different angles of the figurine and written about the significance of yoga. The gift triggered memories and is informing me of my practice of sketching and writing. It is a magnificent gift not needed but much appreciated.
PONDER THIS THOUGHT—True gift giving happens when we give without expectation.
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