PRACTICE: Think of a caregiver. How can you help? Do it?
Let me state upfront that I haven’t any full-time firsthand experience with caring for an aged parent, sick spouse, or child etc. but I have witnessed the caregiver’s struggle more than a few times. It is hard to hear about and to see so, I can only imagine what it is like to walk in their shoes. However, I was recently the recipient of great care and am thankful that it lasted only a few weeks because I was growing weary with myself and my needs.
Watching the toll that caregiving takes directly or indirectly on those close to the situation makes me more cognizant of the dangers they face. It is grave… lack of attention to self-care often looms like an impending hurricane on open water bearing down on a low-lying coastal city.
The caregiver represents those folk who hear the weather forecaster and elected officials urging immediate evacuation but feel thy can’t leave, that they must hunker down and protect home and hearth. We can see the caregiver’s exhaustion (the ferocious storm coming). To the caregiver, evacuation (leaving the loved one for a few hours or a day for self-preservation purposes), is not a viable option even when they understand the danger.
From the outside looking in, those of us not in the path of storm see the impending disaster. We can’t force the caregiver to seek the shelter of self-care. It is a seemingly impossible situation, or is it? I think not.
It is true the caregiver may not be able to extract themself for a few hours. However, seeing the impending danger approach, we have the awesome opportunity to fill in as volunteers, to work as a sandbagger, to board up windows to help withstand the strong wind and rain blowing their way. Each caregiver’s need is different – what you can provide differs from person to person.
I am good at “doing” – the sandbagger. I am a good listener and often pose the relevant questions. Other times I am the plywood being nailed over the windows by asking a question like “what will happen to your loved one if you should shatter?”
There are no easy answers but, in an effort, to help the receiver and the giver of care be as whole as possible, all parties need to do something, - which often begins with prayer but almost never ends there.
Matt. 25:40
PONDER THIS THOUGHT---Helping others is never a one- way street.
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