HOW TO BE SUCKED IN – NOT SUCKED DRY
I am a compassionate and caring person, I think. I know that I know compassionate and caring people. I allow myself space and time to be “sucked into” the woes and difficulties of others. Somewhere along the way I taught myself to maintain a balance. I refuse to be “sucked dry.”
Compassionate people extend comfort and support to others but may have trouble knowing when to draw the line in the sand, especially since the line moves with each interaction, each person, and each situation. If you are like me, my potential to be sucked in and sucked dry is most profoundly exhibited when dealing with those closest to me.
The positive side of compassion is being able to listen with openness, to feel deeply for the other’s ups and downs, to provide support, and to stand in the gap when the other needs it the most. It is a way to show loyalty in relationships, to befriend a person, humanity, or cause. Compassion enables the other to find their footing. When overdone, compassion runs the risk of undermining and disabling the recipient. And instead of allowing the healing power (a power that comes from a source outside of myself) of compassion to flow through me, I become or think that I am the healing power. Soon I am drained, fatigued and running on empty. Yet drawing the line of “enough” in the sand may seem heartless. Why? The object of my compassion is now dependent on me for sympathy, support, attention and much more. I can’t snatch that away from them, can I?
It is at this point, if not before, that one should be reminded, “I am not God,” which can become the turning point for being refilled with what has been sucked out. The well of compassion is dry, and I am unable to give the water to quench the thirst of the one seeking to find their footing. I have been the giver of compassion and I now become the recipient of compassion for myself.
This sounds selfish and it is an uncomfortable position. Nothing upsets a compassionate person more than being unable to be compassionate. May I gently suggest that one of the most compassionate things you may do for the other is to acknowledge your dryness before it turns into resentment and you step away. May I also suggest that being dry for one person or cause doesn’t mean that this state spans across all causes and relationships. May I suggest that removing yourself from the equation might be the impetus for the object of your compassion to find their footing and to stand on their own.
PONDER THIS THOUGHT---The most compassionate person is most compassionate when they recognize their limits!
I hear you and I feel the sentiments that you express in your writing this morning. We’ll said.
The sucked in not sucked dry really resonated with me....because as you said as one whom others seem to be drawn to, it's imperative that we point them to the Source, because we are only resources/vessels through which the true Source is reaching them so we must be intentional about not allowing ourselves to be sucked dry