RAFIKI
Some years ago, my husband and I liberated a few Japanese Maple seedlings that had sprouted from fallen seeds under the tree in my sister’s yard. One might say we stole them – we didn’t ask for them – they would have been mowed down or whacked with the weed whacker. We saved them when we carefully pulled them up, wrapped their roots in a wet paper towel and transported them across the state line.
For years after liberation, we cuddled and cultivated the seedlings in a large pot. They were nurtured with water, food, attention, and sheltered from winter’s cold. Some of the seedlings eventually succumbed to the unnatural conditions and perished, others flourished and grew. After years of pampering, it was time to move them to Mother Earth. We relocated the remaining seedlings to a place that was well sheltered with plenty of sunlight. The rest is history.
Our liberated tree, Rafiki (yes, she has a name-Swahili for friend), is very dissimilar from her parent. The parent was tall and upright. Rafiki is weepy with a dome like canopy. She has never been pruned because they are natural pruners. However, she has outgrown the allotted space, so pruning is warranted.
Our affection for Rafiki has been demonstrated by our steadfast care for her. She is valuable because of the time and effort we have invested in her. She has loved us and all of nature by beautifying our environment and oxygenating our air. Though we know Rafiki, intimately, we will Not be doing the pruning. That is a job for a professional.
Like Rafiki, our spouses, friends, and family, can need help that we can but should not provide. That recognition in no way negates our importance to each other. It highlights that we are not capable of meeting every need of those we love.
I wanted to do the pruning, after all we have done everything for her since infancy. Why shouldn’t I oversee pruning? I own the necessary garden tools, I am available, and I researched the procedure. Simply, I lack experience. Desire, right tools, and research are not always sufficient. Experience plus the other things mentioned seems to me to be the right formula to meet Rafiki’s need.
This situation is not unlike those encountered with family and friends. I know them well – have sheltered together and weathered storms. I am a good listener, generous with my resources, compassionate, and analytical. Yet they have faced challenges where the words “you need to see somebody,” is the right response to their need (i.e., mental health and deep grief). This is a gift of immeasurable value especially if the suggestion is received and acted upon. It can be a gift of immeasurable peace that you give yourself.
We called BJ, the landscape engineer, for Rafiki’s ’s care.
PONDER THIS THOUGHT—Know when to hold – know when you are inadequate - know when to release.
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